Monday, February 20, 2017

First day in the office after that unpaid leave

My first day today in the office. I know its going to get tough.

Boss told me briefly that I would be involved in a 4 week job. I know its fast track job but I cud not imagine how tough it is. Came to the office, has to find my PC first, found it after 930am, set it up myself, then I had problem logging on. Called IT and he asked me how long have I not logged on? Well, try One and  half month. That s the problem! The network has forgotten my PC and need to configure in the network. Well, welcome to the office Herlina! Try being unpaid for more than 6 months, I cud say bye2 to my PC.

I was briefed by my Lead..hmm ok, take some time to warm up coz, well, I did not do anything  since the last couple of week other than starring at my tablet, watching kdramas, c dramas, thai dramas... hmmm... its ok, I can do this, told myself. Towards the end of the day, well, its already 8pm when I left the office... wow, what a first day and finally I figured out why my Boss called me to the office. I am about the do the most difficult work of all, the most hated part, all me because almost everyone in the team has taken the easy one. Well, not easy la, but they were part of the team before and already familiar with their system, but system I am handling is where there is no one in the office has much information. Kudos heroine! I can already see myself sleeping in the office this weekend... cry, cry..

Well, its tough now, and I have to endure 4 more weeks or maybe more. Toughen up, its going to get even tougher later...

Thursday, February 16, 2017

After One months...

Well, its actually a lil more than a month. Did not actually feel it was that long. The first 2 weeks, I spent at home mostly, watching all the dramas online. And meet friends..I did think proper schedule to really organize my days at home, but it was so hard to actually follow your own rules. I ended doing nothing at home. then spend about 2 weeks at my hometown. I was a bit reluctant to stay that long since I cud not get any internet line or sometimes not even a phone call. MAXIS, pleaseee...but being with your family does get my mind off the unemployment matter. My uncle is even go extra length to ask for his friend for any vacancy at their workplace. After 2 weeks, I am back to KL.

And so, when my public mutual agent suggested that I join as agent to fulfil my free time, though a bit hesitant at first, I told myself, why not. Rather than doing nothing and wait for the call that won't come from the Boss, maybe I can do some side income.

I seriously not good in this. I am not good in convincing people to buy anything coz I know how stubborn I am... hehe... but once I have made up my mind, I submitted the form and found out that I have registered for an exam next coming 2 weeks. In my mind, I that that all the questions is just easy peasy. I mean, how hard can it be because unit trust need people to be their, I went for the preparation class for the exam, I found out that there are a lotssss of things to study. Can somebody crack my head pleaseeeee...

In the class, I got an WhatsApp from my boss..he is asking me whether I will be available starting next week becoz he has a job that need an engineer. I quickly call him to tell him I am available..has my leisure days ended?. I dunno becoz he told me he wud only confirm it tomorrow..I really can't wait...hopefully, I can start working again... nowadays, having a work and earn your own money is a big thing. Less people are employed, markets are tough, inflation going up..and you have loans to is no longer looking forward what is going to happen next year... but moree on can you survive next week, next month..luckily I brave some saving but it does not last forever.

But I know, I am still lucky than most of my friends...and for that I am forever grateful...

Sunday, January 15, 2017

So, what is your plan?

I get this questions a lot now.

But seriously DO NOT ask this when you see me. By asking this, it seems that I have something going on but I do not have ANYTHING, at the moment. I understand some of my friends are quite concern since being on unpaid leave means no source of income. Fret not, I have some saving though I seriously do not know how long it will last since it is not much.

You must have something you are good at that you want to do that can help create some revenue?

Well, I even hate this question because, yes, I have so many things I like, writing novel, travelling , etc and I am sure it can help me create something however, I do not have the confidence at the moment.

I have also peeking through jobstreet and linked in looking for potential jobs however, that was an even bigger nightmare. It just says that either I am overqualified or underqualified. There is no job matching my current position. But, I am not sure I even want to be in the current position anymore. It is tiring and depressing. At the moment I just want to be out from oil and gas industry. It is just a mean world at the moment. But getting job in another industry is also seem not possible since I have 14 years experience in oil and gas industry. I have to go to fresh grad level if I were to do it.

So, what do I do now? When will I start thinking about this unemploymentt? I dunno. At the moment, I would like to say that I am still employed though I will not get any salary. I am still pining hope on my company that they will call me for a job assignments  before 3 months is up. Though I can say, at the moment, the indication showing that is NOT possible.

I know I have to do something and I am seriously thinking about it. But just give me sometime and act normal. I would appreciate it very much.

I have to be strong, and I know I am not alone. I know something good is waiting for me. So cheer up!

Monday, January 9, 2017


Today is the start of my 3 months unpaid leave. Surprise, huh? Me too..My boss handed over the letter at 4pm yesterday. I was ready to leave already. Initially he wanted to discuss on a project I did before. Suddenly he went about the proposed attachement for Brunei office. He just knew that me and my colleague did not get thru. I was a bit disappointed but when I saw him handed me a letter, I was speechless at first. Could it be...? I was right. It was my retrenchment letter.

I should see it coming. The way he handled the attachment. In a rush, without asking me and my colleague first. Then, there was a meeting which my name was not included. But maybe because I refused to believe it.

Since I have discussed my option with him few weeks before, I did not want to turn back on my words. I quickly pack my stuffs and inform hr. Everything was done in less than 2  hours. Yours sincerely already in depressed mood.

After saying goodbye to few friends, I walked out from the office. I didn't cry, but almost cry when I talked to one of my colleague. I wish this day never comes but it is totally out of my hands. I believe that there is bigger things await and I have to be calm.

I will forever remember  this day, January 9 , 2017, the day I got retrenchment letter from my dear company.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

I got an interview but..

Times are tough now,  and i see no way out.  I have discussed with mommy numerous times and she asked me to hold on. When you thought you had a great career with good pay,  you cant just imagined not having it anymore. This is where i am now.  Its like you are in a dark tunnel and you cant see the light at the end.

I've heard that we are going to have another round of retrenchment.  Have heard about it probably since last month. I was more than ready for it. I have discussed with my boss that if i have an option,  i would opt for, 6 months leave.  Yes,  no salary for 6 months though. But i have calculated my saving,  decided to take out my trust fund so that i am financially ok for 6 months.

Then my boss told me that a company would like to hire me for a year.  The company is located at neighbouring country. I was ecstatic. And they wanted to interview me tomorrow. So,  i was feeling a bit happy,  though a part of me cant help but think i might not get it.  I have been to few interviews and failed at some of it. But that is not my main concern. My problem is,  while i am happy to be given a chance for a year work,  there are friends who already got retrenchment letters and dreading for the future. Can i be happy? I dunno any more. I am now sad and depressed. And my boss is hoping i get thru so he doesnt have to put my name on the list.

I dunno anymore. I pray hard that we are going to get thru this tough times.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

I finally made it

After 3 years,  I can proudly say that I have khatam-ed quran. At my age,  my whole life,  i have never once completed the recite of quran under a certified teacher. I have completed reciting quran on my own few times but this time,  its official. And that after 3 years learning under this ustazah.  Ustazah Asiah.  What started as a just for fun learning,  later i am hooked to it because deep down i know i have been reading it wrong but just cudnt find the teacher.  3 years is a long time. I started without knowing when will i get to the last page. I skipped class few times during the first year because i thot it wasnt important enough. Everything changes one day or maybe after the second year. Depressed about work,  my personal life,  everything jumbles up and i needed an outlet.  AlQuran was the answer.

Suddenly i feel i was alive.  I found something to look forward to very much. Up untill early jan 2016, the class had about 20 students and conducted at office surau every friday during friday prayer since my company is half day on friday. Each of us only recite a page a session. When my company decided to go for full day on friday,  the class dismissed. But i continued on since i have the time to drive to ustazah house. I was only few juzuk that time. Since my reciting is better,  ustazah asked me to read 10 page per session. That actually speed up my khatam.

Finally,  after 3 years,  i have officially khatam today on Jan 1, 2017.  Alhamdulillah..

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Moshi, Moshi

I have been pestering my best friend on trip to Japan. Initially, I wanted to go alone. But then she wanted to tag along. Being me, I would love to plan and book everything early, so that I can get the cheapest price ticket and the best accommodation. Since we planned (actually I plan) to go during cherry blossom season, the crowd is expected. I don't want to be too ambitious, hence I planned for short stay here since things are unpredictable nowadays. with shorter days there, I can focus only on Tokyo. I tailor made this trip so that it will not go above 5k all in. Pretty impossible, right? with the plunging ringgit. But I was so adamant on making it a reality, like what I did in my Seoul trip last winter. Stick to budget and only go to places that I really want to go.

So, the first step to really confirm whether we are going or not, is to buy the flight tickets. Once we have the tickets, other things can start to fall into places. When I checked in November, flight ticket is around 1.5k but there are a lot of choices. I would love to book via Mypyo again like what I did last winter. Mypyo is Malaysian travel agency and I'm quite confident booking thru it. But my friend had this nervous breakdown because her company is retrenching people and she was afraid that her name will be on the list. I am not gonna say that I am confident of not being retrenched but this feeling of uncertainty is just killing me and the only way out is to start planning for a trip which I know gonna take my mind off somewhere. Last year, I made that trip to Seoul since I dunno if I will be travelling again. That was the feeling a year ago and I am feeling the same thing, even a year later. I just hate it. I am not going to do Europe again now because that is suicidal and that's why I think Tokyo is just the right place though I started to regret it a bit now, after seeing the expenses there.

So, somehow, I managed to secure tickets for us yesterday after much persuading. Everyday, the number of cheap tickets is declining. Mypro no longer have the promotional price ticket. I am so disheartened. when she said yes to proceed, I straightway bought a ticket. This time thru gotogate. The price is more than what I expected but still cheap. Before this I wasn't really confident with this website and after reading few positive reviews, it is enough to let me put my money there. so now, we already have a return ticket to Japan in March. yeayyyy..

I have also done some research on the accommodation. but it's too soon to tell my friend about it. but there are already few places that I like which has been fully booked on the date we will be in Tokyo. so, maybe I need to push my friend a bit or let me book accommodation before I can just relax and enjoy planning how our day to day gonna be in Tokyo.

Cant wait. May 2017, pls come faster!