Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Bangkit Bersama

Today i am blogging live from Program Sukarelawan Sea Games. All the volunteers are officially called 'Wau Factors'. We will be the backbone of Kuala Lumpur 2017.
We came from all walks of life and from different states, as far as sarawak, from all races, from young to old. The oldest in this session (there are few training session for 13,000 Wau factors) is an 82 year old uncle. It is already an amazing feat to get all these people for one event, Kuala Lumpur 2017.
When i applied for this programme, i din have much info on what to do, how to do. My friend announced this in watsapp group. That time, i had just started my unpaid leave. So i told her, why not? I am sure that there will ve thousands applying and since i never got lucky, well might not get it at all. I was wrong. I was the only one of my friends who get selected. Could it br that during this tough times, my luck has turned? Unbelievable! 
Today is the 2nd day already into the firat training module. We have several courses before the big event. 
Will blog more about it later

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Dont you feel guilty?

I got this question as i was about to head out from office at 6pm. This was question from my collleague. Why, you ask? Today marked the 3rd day in a row i got out from the office quite early. The last few weeks, my average is at 8pm. While my colleagues, totally passed that time. The record is at 12am.
So, do i feel guilty if i am the only one who got out from the office earlier than my teammate? Or do i feel guilty not be able to join them and have lengthy discussion on the project. Well, at the moment, i just cudnt care less. When i have an appointment, i would like to keep it. I dont really like working long hours because i tend to make mistakes more if i spend more time thinking on something for more than 8 hours. If i just feel that i wanna go home now, cant take it anymore, i will do it. There is no point staying when i can no longer focus on things.
This is not to say that i am not focussed and lazy. I work hard. But i know my limits.
Being in a competitives environment like what i sm experiencing now, with teammates ready to stay long hours, work over the weekend or do work at home, totally not me. I know i have to get things done and i am realistic on my expectations. Though i can say that in the project i am doing now, i have no freaking clue on the progress or things to be submitted. On one hand, i know i have deadline and i am confident i can meet it. On the other hand, my teammates is saying i am not doing enough.
Though you can say i am already in holiday mode. My trip is less than 2 weeks to go and i just cannot focus on other things.

Lets hope whatever it is, i can complete all my deliverables before my trip. If i cant? Well, too bad, right? Even i know myself that whatever i am doing now, it takes 2 people to do it. I just have to toughen up in this weather.

This too, shall pass....

Monday, March 13, 2017

No Beauty and The Beast?!

I am sooo sad.. Been looking forward the screening of this movie since foreverrr...
Yesterday, i was browsing TGV apps to check the screening time since it is out this thursday, and to my surprise, beauty and the beast showtime was not there. Thinking that maybe i can only book it on thrursday only, i thot of nothing. And then... I checked my fb and someone has posted about possible cancellation of this show due to lgbt factor in the movie.... Whatttttt? I am soooo devastated! But i was still hoping that it will not get cancelled since there is no confirmation. Well, the news could be fake... Yeah right! And just now, TGV sent an update that the movie has been confirmed not to be shown. Oh emm geeee.... 
So i have to wait until it is out on torrent or youtube to watch it! Arghh.. Or maybeee... I can watch it in Tokyo! Cant wait for ap30th march to come! 

Friday, March 3, 2017

Back to working.. Mixed feelings

I am now posting this on a bus back to my home. It is already 8pm now. Just got out from the office. Initially, when i got the watsapp from my HOD asking me to come back to the office for a job assignment, I was happy, like really happy. 6 weeks doing nothing specific, well, mostly watching dramas online. But i also try to spend more time doing solat sunat and read quran more during my free time that i did not really feel i am not doing anything. I was thinking to slot in some time to review some documentations on my work in between my free time but lets admit it, it gets boring reading technical stuffs at home. I can do work only at office!

So, I am back in the office. Once i get back, there are so many stories going around. It makes me feel sad knowing that there is no security in the job i am doing now. I was already thinking on serving notice in the coming months. I feel so sad. Working environment is pretty intense. Everything is fast track now. You just dun hv time to think. Somemore, my teammates are pretty competitives. They are hardworking and have can do attitude. I am the only malay girl in the group. The pressure is just so overwhelming. But i gotta keep up. Now its everything about your ability to deliver at the time scheduled, no matter what is the condition. Or you loose your chances. It was crazy. But i suddenly, when i was about to pack my stuffs and go home, i suddenly realized i really loved my job. I could say anything, scream saying its not for me anymore, but deep down i know i am only good at this.

Its gonna be tough. In another few more weeks i have to decide whether to really put an end to this or still pining hope on the company. It is not a situation i want to be in. But as much as i love my job, i know, out there, is a bigger world waiting for me to explore other options. Maybe its time to say goodbye and ready for new adventure?

Monday, February 20, 2017

First day in the office after that unpaid leave

My first day today in the office. I know its going to get tough.

Boss told me briefly that I would be involved in a 4 week job. I know its fast track job but I cud not imagine how tough it is. Came to the office, has to find my PC first, found it after 930am, set it up myself, then I had problem logging on. Called IT and he asked me how long have I not logged on? Well, try One and  half month. That s the problem! The network has forgotten my PC and need to configure in the network. Well, welcome to the office Herlina! Try being unpaid for more than 6 months, I cud say bye2 to my PC.

I was briefed by my Lead..hmm ok, take some time to warm up coz, well, I did not do anything  since the last couple of week other than starring at my tablet, watching kdramas, c dramas, thai dramas... hmmm... its ok, I can do this, told myself. Towards the end of the day, well, its already 8pm when I left the office... wow, what a first day and finally I figured out why my Boss called me to the office. I am about the do the most difficult work of all, the most hated part, all me because almost everyone in the team has taken the easy one. Well, not easy la, but they were part of the team before and already familiar with their system, but system I am handling is where there is no one in the office has much information. Kudos heroine! I can already see myself sleeping in the office this weekend... cry, cry..

Well, its tough now, and I have to endure 4 more weeks or maybe more. Toughen up, its going to get even tougher later...

Thursday, February 16, 2017

After One months...

Well, its actually a lil more than a month. Did not actually feel it was that long. The first 2 weeks, I spent at home mostly, watching all the dramas online. And meet friends..I did think proper schedule to really organize my days at home, but it was so hard to actually follow your own rules. I ended doing nothing at home. then spend about 2 weeks at my hometown. I was a bit reluctant to stay that long since I cud not get any internet line or sometimes not even a phone call. MAXIS, pleaseee...but being with your family does get my mind off the unemployment matter. My uncle is even go extra length to ask for his friend for any vacancy at their workplace. After 2 weeks, I am back to KL.

And so, when my public mutual agent suggested that I join as agent to fulfil my free time, though a bit hesitant at first, I told myself, why not. Rather than doing nothing and wait for the call that won't come from the Boss, maybe I can do some side income.

I seriously not good in this. I am not good in convincing people to buy anything coz I know how stubborn I am... hehe... but once I have made up my mind, I submitted the form and found out that I have registered for an exam next coming 2 weeks. In my mind, I that that all the questions is just easy peasy. I mean, how hard can it be because unit trust need people to be their agent...NOT...sigh..today, I went for the preparation class for the exam, I found out that there are a lotssss of things to study. Can somebody crack my head pleaseeeee...

In the class, I got an WhatsApp from my boss..he is asking me whether I will be available starting next week becoz he has a job that need an engineer. I quickly call him to tell him I am available..has my leisure days ended?. I dunno becoz he told me he wud only confirm it tomorrow..I really can't wait...hopefully, I can start working again... nowadays, having a work and earn your own money is a big thing. Less people are employed, markets are tough, inflation going up..and you have loans to service...sighhh...it is no longer looking forward what is going to happen next year... but moree on can you survive next week, next month..luckily I brave some saving but it does not last forever.

But I know, I am still lucky than most of my friends...and for that I am forever grateful...

Sunday, January 15, 2017

So, what is your plan?

I get this questions a lot now.

But seriously DO NOT ask this when you see me. By asking this, it seems that I have something going on but I do not have ANYTHING, at the moment. I understand some of my friends are quite concern since being on unpaid leave means no source of income. Fret not, I have some saving though I seriously do not know how long it will last since it is not much.

You must have something you are good at that you want to do that can help create some revenue?

Well, I even hate this question because, yes, I have so many things I like, writing novel, travelling , etc and I am sure it can help me create something however, I do not have the confidence at the moment.

I have also peeking through jobstreet and linked in looking for potential jobs however, that was an even bigger nightmare. It just says that either I am overqualified or underqualified. There is no job matching my current position. But, I am not sure I even want to be in the current position anymore. It is tiring and depressing. At the moment I just want to be out from oil and gas industry. It is just a mean world at the moment. But getting job in another industry is also seem not possible since I have 14 years experience in oil and gas industry. I have to go to fresh grad level if I were to do it.

So, what do I do now? When will I start thinking about this unemploymentt? I dunno. At the moment, I would like to say that I am still employed though I will not get any salary. I am still pining hope on my company that they will call me for a job assignments  before 3 months is up. Though I can say, at the moment, the indication showing that is NOT possible.

I know I have to do something and I am seriously thinking about it. But just give me sometime and act normal. I would appreciate it very much.

I have to be strong, and I know I am not alone. I know something good is waiting for me. So cheer up!