Nostalgia...

So today, I am on my weekend in kuantan. Decided to cut back on the travel to kl city. I just need to have good balance sheet on my bank acc. Was observing my spending and i spent a LOT, like A LOT!!. Now I am on hourly rate without any benefit from the company. The more I get the more I spend. I just have to be mindful on what did i spent my money on. I wanna get permanent job nowww....sigh...life is tough...

On saturday, decided to get new passport photo for my interview...opsss...this is the second one after the unsuccessful interview last oct..the first for 2018. I am very hopeful to get this one...but i know the competition is tough. Just gonna pray hard...feel like leaving the job i have now due to stress. This is like CPOC all over again....sighhh... and so, there goes my photo...sadly, i din like the pix at all. I was sooo disappointed...then decided to eat seafood for lunch but the kedai tutupppp...arghhh...this place is like dead even on weekend..what is wrong people...there are beaches everywhere so tourist shud be everywhere and yet, close shop?? Cant understsnd it. So, i went to kfc...arghhh...after lunch decided to head back home. Wanted to go to town to visit malls but since its saturday, a lot of terengganu folks are here to shops so its badly jammed so might as well forget about it. Just staying at home watching youtube, insta , fb...

So i woke up early on sunday. Had breakfast and i thought, not another boring day. Monday gonna be stressful, hence i need to vent. Decided to msg an old colleague and arrange for meetup in kemaman. I can drive there! Only 40 mins. This friend of mine, we worked together while i was in perwaja. We had not met since i left perwaja. It has been more than 10 years already. And there was this long history between us...

While working in perwaja, i din have many female friends. I prefer to be friend with men since they dun talk behind my back or backstab me. Since i was from west peninsular (read, melaka, kl) i was not familiar with the east peninsular girls attitude. I guess i am more comfortable with men. These guys are the operators, supervisors and technicians. We hang out a lot in the control room and sometimes hv dinner together. In a group. Suddenly one day, one of the guys wanted to go out with me. Me and him. During that time, i was on rebounce. Just broke up with somebody and wanted out from the relationship so i thought, why not. And his friends seem to be promoting him, saying all good things about him. Including this guy. Oppss..i forgot a very important fact. This one particular guy from the control room has been showing great interest in me but i knew hes married. During the first time we went dinner, in a group, he was the first one to arrive. So it was only me and him for few mins. He looked straight into my eyes saying and smiling "you looked liked my ex girlfriend". I was like..WHATTT... his ex girlfriend died and he still cud not get over her. But he is now married with kids. I was ok with it. I mean he is not trying to hit on me. I looked someone he used to love. Thats it. I thought he was a nice guy. So now hes promoting his best friend. He wanted me to go out with this guy. And i am on rebounce. Bad, bad decision.

So i went out with this guy. The weird thing is, he never wanted a date within our city area. It was always on the neighbouring city which is 30 mins drive. At first i thought it was ok. But then i just got bad feeling. It seems that he does not want our relationship to be known by other people. So this one particular night, i told him i wanted to tell him something. I just wanted to have a name in our relationship. Are we really dating? I sorta like him and i hope we can move to the next stage. But he just stopped me. He told me he knew what i wanted to say. I din remember whether i asked him what he meant by that but we just went silent until i reached home.

We din really see each other anymore after that night. Less call and sms also from him. Well, whatsapp was not there yet, people! Suddenly one of my friends asked me about this guy i went out with. He told me this guy is already engaged to be married. I was beyond furious!! I was mad with this guy and also his friend who has been promoting him to me. You told me i looked like your girlfriend and yet you played me on? What kind of bullshit is this? I changed my no and go back to my ex boyfriend. Remember me on rebounce? Yeah, i was on another rebounce. Another bad and stupid decision. But this story is about this guy who told me i looked like his ex gf.

So now, more than 10 years has passed. I sorta forgive this guy who dated me and got married with another. We were both young and him stupid. The other guy? Well, few years after i left perwaja he called me on my new no. He got my no from my other friend. He said something which i found hard to swallow. From that moment on, i have no interest in him. I just burnt the bridge..

When he knew that i am now back at east coast, he whatsapped me. Initially i wanted to just ignore coz i still feel the pain. But later, i thought well just forgive and forget. It has been so long. So i replied his msg and he wanted to meet me over lunch. I said sure but cud not promise any date. That was, more than 4 months ago? Its not that i dun want to see him but lunch hour is short. So today, i thought i can just msg him and meet him at chukai, where he stays. He immediately replied saying he is at work but he can meet me during lunch. Oh yeah he now works close to where i work now. I said ok. I dun hv to drive to chukai then.

So we met at this kedai..one which opens during weekend. And just chatted. He does not look much difference from the last time i saw him. Man, that was more than 10 years ago. Me? I can guarantee he is seeing a different person. Haha... we mostly talked about the friends that i mostly forgot their names. And he wanted me to meet the rest of them if i stay in kuantan during the weekend. Sure why not.

The thing about meeting him and the rest of ex perwaja is, it brings so many emotions. Few years back , perwaja got shut down for good. The employees were owed more than 6 months salary and the compensation. Their case is still in court. It just breaks my heart. I got retrenched last year but still i was lucky since i am now employed. I din suffer so much since i was on unpaid for only 2 months. But these people? I heard from this ex colleague of mine, there are still now few of them without job until today. It is just sad.

Wishing for a better future for all of us...

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