My new love.. Al Quran

Its boring in the office. I have started charging on overhead since the last 3 weeks. It's scary because I went to the office, turn on my pc, reading news online, googling here and there until lunch hour, go out for lunch, came back and start another session with Mr Google, or Mr Xiaomi, and waited till 445pm before I pack my bag and go home. Scary isn't it? You have nothing to do in the office! No project, no work, that means no job wasn't so scary when you still have things to do. Whenever I was on overhead before, the HOD still plan something for us to do. Recheck the spreadsheet, review the PTS, API standards, anything, as long as we occupy the hours. We will need to come out with presentation, new spreadsheets or anything to prove that we did something during the hours. But now, nothing! Some more, because the HOD is now leaving us to join another company, we have no idea whom to report to.

Everyday, in your mind, you are thinking when is the last day in this company.

Since the last 2 years, I started reading Quran. Why? Initially because I know I read it wrong. Wrong tajwid, dunno where to stop or start. It bothers me. I am not a really a good muslim and I guess the only thing I can do is read the Book for muslim the right way. I already bought the Quran with tafsir few years back and I intentionally bought the one with colourful pages so that it will be interesting to read. I only need a teacher, and I found her through my company. Kak Jamilah were my first teacher.She heard me reading the Quran and it was bad, like really bad and she suggested a new teacher, Ustazah Asiah. With Ustazah Asiah, I dun have to attend Kak Jamilah's class during lunch hour. I really need my lunch. hehe...

Ustazah conducted her class in my company's surau. It was every Friday after 1230pm. My company was on 4 and half day working hour before this year. Every Friday, the working hour stops at 1230pm. When the company decided to go for full five days which means that we will be working full day on Friday, that's when we decided that Ustazah can no longer teach us in a group. we now have to go to her house to continue. Not many are willing to go to Ustazah's house because of the distance and commitment. I can still do it because I am living near KL area and currently single, with no kids and hubby taking up my time. Somemore, I decided I have to 'khatam' since I never 'khatam' Quran before. My determination is really something. My love affair with AlQuran is something miraculous, I would say. I cant really remember when it starts. When I started "mengaji" with Ustazah, with 20 plus people in a surau, I could not really concentrate. There were a lot of people and each of us read a page. I usually take the longest time since I was that bad. I was quite ashamed but determined to get better. Even ustazah encouraged me not to be disappointed with myself whenever she stopped me to correct my reading. I have no shame because I am determine whatever it is, I have to read Quran the right way. Though sometimes I skipped class because I thot other things are more important than this class.

Then everything changes one day. I told myself that I should not take this class lightly if I were to improve myself. I have to speed up myself. Then I read Quran at least once a day, reading with the translation so that I am interested. I started to buy tajwid books and books about stories about AlQuran. Then one day, I came across an article that by reading 2 last ayat from Al Baqarah, it is du'a so that Allah will only tested us within our capacity to be tested. During that time I was so down, the thought of losing my job is unbearable to me, hence I began reading the ayah every night.

Then, came stories on Surah Al-Mulk. I cant really recall where I read it but it says that by reading AlMulk each night before you sleep can help lighten the afterdeath suffering. Then I read somewhere that Surah Al Waqiah is surah of wealth. Then I came across Surah Ar Rahman, what a beautiful surah. Then, I decided to make it a point to read all these Surah everyday. How? Morning, in the bus on the way to the office, I will read 3 surah : Al Sajadah, Yassin and Waqiah and sometime Ar Rahman when I still have time. During the night after Isya prayer, I will read 2 ayah from Al Baqarah and Al Mulk. I also make it a point to khatam reading AlQuran with its translation at least once a year by reading them after prayer whenever I have time.

It is totally a journey a beautiful and magical one. I only start now, when I am 30+ but I saw other people start it later than me and I am thankful. Everyday is a beautiful day. Now suddenly I remember why I started reading it in the first place. Last 2 years, I was in a very low place. In a project I'm in, we had so many difficulties. I myself know that this is punishment from Allah to me because previously I did something which I myself find it hard to forgive. I was sick mentally and physically, everyday I wanted to hand over my resignation letter and just be gone from the company. That's when I started reading AlQuran. Even though I am not reading it right, I find the surah very soothing to me. Whenever I read them with translation, they makes me curious and wanting to know more. In my school, we have this all this classes of AlQuran but I was never interested. Until now.

It was very difficult to keep this routine at first. But I guess because I was very determine, I no longer find excuse not to do it. Whenever I feel down, I make it a point to read Surah Yassin. On weekend, after each prayer, I make it a necessity to at least read a Surah. Usually after Subuh prayer I will read 3 or 4 surah. My favourite is Al Sajadah, Yassin, Ar Rahman, Al Waqiah and Al Mulk. Other than Subuh and Isya prayer, I read Quran with translation.

So, what did I gain? I am calmer, more rationale and happy. There are many things going on in your life but by going to Al Quran, you know that this life is not real. This life is only one stop, and there are so many stops before your final destination. It helps me to stay sane and live day by day, not overthinking the future (though, being human, who didn't?), whatever that is fated for you will come for you, if it's not, it's OK. Be grateful, and your suffering may be hard for you but other people undergo the same thing also but in a different way.

I will 'khatam' with Ustazah maybe next Monday. I have already on Juz 29, page 580. 2 more classes and I can finally 'khatam' with her. I am beyond happy and she already advised me to read Al Quran everyday. I am already doing it now, and I hope I can continue for the rest of my life, InshAllah.


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