Wednesday, April 19, 2017

And so, I have finally made the decision...

After 3 months on unpaid leaves, and working in between, I have finally made THE decision to leave the company. It was not really a tough decision. Made easier by certain someone in the company. When I got the retrenchment letter in Jan, I kinda half expected it. I was shocked, yes, but kinda see it coming. And cried at nights. Not because I lost my job but somehow I feel sad that I will mot be able to help out my family like what I always do. It is just heartbreaking.

But you get over it. 

Some of friend supported this decision, some not. Becausenit os tough finding jobs nowadays. But I told myself, the company did not provide rezeki, they are only a means, Allah is the ultimate power. To him, I shall go and follow my heart.In between the unpaid, I did more solat sunat and read more Qur'an. I have so many free time and I seem to enjoy the free time given by Allah to rethink and tawakkal. As hamba, there are things beyond our control. Have faith.

2weeks ago, I was back on unpaid after working for 6 weeks.  And so, I asked my boss on his plan for me since my 3 months unpaid is ending. He just din give me convincing answer. In my mind, I know I have to go. I have done istikharah before and only hope to be shown the way.

Then I went to a 6 days trip to Yoko, land of my dreams. I can Tell you that, among all the countries that I have been before, only a few countries I can call a childhood dreams. There are only 2, London and Tokyo. Others are new dreams but these two are my childhood dreams. London because I kept hearing it in dramas, and tokuo because I watched a lot of Japanese dramas when I was a kid. Hence, going to Japan is almost surreal, the same feeling I got when I stepped in the plane to London in 2012. Living my childhodd dreams is just one of the best things I can give my life. Add I have been living so many dreams, even places I can never imagine I can go. And Allah, has given me everything, and for that I should be grateful.

And so, after saying to my boss on my decision on Monday, he was disappointed. Of course he is, when he expect me to continue my unpaid leaves, when there arestrong rumours going around that we will win more jobs. But I avehave made my decision. We will see after 1 months, where it will lead me.

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